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Name: Jonathan
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| Hometown: | MCI-Walpole |
| Bacon bits or croutons? | either, as long as my salad gets tossed |
| Favorite drink: | Jim Jones Kool-Aid |
| Favorite color: | Pantone 187 |
| One pillow or two? | one, pressed against an enemy's face |
| Favorite movies: | "Harry Potter And The Gentleman Caller," "Lil Conor Peterson's Midnight Boat Ride," "Father Shanley And The Little Brat Who Couldn't Keep A Secret" |
| Favorite type of music: | circus |
| Hobbies: | whispering to guns, producing homemade methamphetamine, accosting unsupervised children |
| Word or phrases you overuse: | "Empty the goddamn register, do it now" |
| Favorite food: | anything that goes well with fava beans and a nice Chianti |
| Coolest thing that ever happened to you: | ingesting spice essence and becoming the Kwisatz Haderach |
| Favorite ice cream: | Ben And Jerry's Tickle My Nuts |
| Favorite song at the moment: | Helter Skelter |
| Most humiliating moment: | when Vince McMahon screwjobbed me at the 1997 Survivor Series |
| Kinkiest thing you ever did: | phone sex, as my one phone call |
| Biggest regret: | in hindsight, always leaving jade figurines for the detectives to find was a gimmicky cliche that cheapened my artistic vision |
| Favorite sin: | taking the Eucharist (they expect you to take it orally) |
| Top or Bottom? | I prefer charm and strange |
| Boxers, briefs or none? | Depends |
| Person you admire most: | Ron Mexico |
| What three words describe you best? | sociopathic billionaire supervillain |
| Craziest/silliest person you know: | Terri Schiavo |
| When did you lose your virginity? | when Mrs. Pierce told me there was only one way to avoid failing fourth grade English |
| Last good book you read: | "Hard-Ass Gangsta: The Richard Simmons Story" |
| When you die, you want people to say: | "Now we'll never know where he hid the detonators for the Cerberus Device" |
